Nov 24 2008
Uncle Jay
Don’t ask me how or why, but one of my uncles happened to get a job here in Japan and arrived about 2 weeks ago to start his highly paid corporate job which he will do for about 2 years or so.
He first e-mailed me about this straight to my phone at 3am one morning and I was so excited that someone from my family would be here so I e-mailed him straight away and asked him for his details.
When he got here I rang his hotel and we arranged a time to meet. He told me that Akihabara was easy for him to get to and he wanted to buy a computer. We agreed to meet in Yodebashi since it was the nearest landmark and very easy to find.
I got out of the station about 10 minutes late and ran all the way to Yodebashi. Uncle Jay doesn’t have a phone so I was worried if he was there and worrying about me. He’s lived all over the world before and done various projects in Central America and other parts of Asia not to mention Europe and the States. He even has a house in Vietnam, since that’s where his wife is from, so he’s been around and can take care of himself.
I ran inside and saw him standing at the AU section, coincidentally exactly where I met Firefly. He’s insanely tall, even back home, so very easy to find amongst Japanese people. I shouted “Uncle Jay!” and ran up to him. He gave me a big hug and said,
“AAAAAAAHAHAHA HALF WAY ACROSS THE WORLD HUH?”
“How are you?” I ask him, excited
“Hungry!”
There are some restaurants on the 8th floor so I took him there and we decided on a Chinese place.
We sit down and Uncle Jay takes out a typed sheet and shouts, “ENGLISH MENU PLEASE” to a confused and scared waiter. To my surprise it was in Japanese.
“Erm, Uncle Jay? You have to be a bit more polite than-”
“WOW look at that guy cutting the noodles!”
“Haha…So he is!…Ha…”
The chef looks up at us and gives us a nervous smile.
My uncle doesn’t eat beef and the thing he wanted had beef in it so he attempts to argue with the waiter to put pork in it instead.
Waiter: Sorry this is beef (English)
UncleJay: Ok, put pork instead, Advena, tell him to put pork instead.
Me: Erm, can you make this with pork instead? (Japanese)
Waiter: We’re unable to do that (Japanese)
Uncle Jay: Sorry? But I want PORK
Waiter: Verry Sorry (English)
UncleJay: ???????
Me: Okay we’ll think about it! (Japanese)
The waiter was going to say something else but walks away.
Uncle Jay puts the change for his beer on the table, but before I could tell him that this wasn’t the way to pay the waiter had come back for the bill and thanked us.
Probably wanted us the hell out of there.
We walk along and the corridor and see an Indian place.
“WOW Indian food! I didn’t know our people had made it all the way here! Let’s go in!”
I follow him inside and he immediately speaks to the waiter in Hindi, hoping to get his attention, and possibly a contact. I don’t understand Hindi so I just nod and smile.
“Go ahead Advena, you can have anything you want my dear”
It was great not having to think about money so I chose my favourite Indian dish, butter chicken, and ate the whole thing.
After Uncle Jay exchanged details with the waiter it was off to the Apple section of Yodebashi to see if he could buy himself a Macbook. He left his one in England for his family to use and asked me to help him search for a new one. I figure, even though my Japanese isn’t that great it would be easier if I was there.
We get to the apple section and he immediately asks a shop assistant if he can speak English. The shop assistant stands there for a second looking awkward and then turns around and walks off.
Uncle Jay then hunts down a guy with an apple t-shirt and says “EXCUSE ME DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?”
The shop assistant says no, stands there for a couple of awkward minutes and then turns his back to us.
Undeterred, uncle Jay picks out a timid looking guy with an apple T-shirt on and taps him on the shoulder.
“Do you speak English?” He asks, in a loud clear voice.
The shop assistant replies “A little, How may I help you”
Uncle Jay goes at him, full speed ahead.
“I’m looking for an apple macbook with **&%@:: Can you tell me how much it is?”
The guy seemed to understand just fine what Uncle Jay was talking about so I left it to them and just stood there quietly, just smiling occasionally.
Uncle Jay then states that he’s from England and he’s here on business for about 2 years. He points at me and says, this is my niece! Studying here!
The apple guy turns to me and says “You study in Japan? Where are you studying?”
Just out of politeness I try and speak in Japanese with him…Okay and I’d really like to impress Uncle Jay. So I tell him I’m an exchange student at Tsukuba University and he looks at me like his eyes are about to pop out of his head.
He turns to my uncle Jay and says “Wow she can speak Japanese!” And instantly after that he started to become more relaxed.
…Until Uncle Jay hijacks one of the iMac’s on display, tries to check the conversion rates and doesn’t listen to the assistant when he says it won’t work because it’s locked.
He then finds that it’s cheaper to buy a macbook in the U.S and quite obnoxiously asks why Japan isn’t the same.
The assistant looks at me to translate. “…er…He asks, is it better to buy the macbook in America?”
The assistant then tells me that if my uncle has the means it is. And that’s just the thing. Uncle Jay does.- As he puts it, he can “just zip down to LA”
Just zip down to LA??????????
Anyway, Uncle Jay decides that he’s not going to buy the laptop and tells the sales assistant that he’s lost a sale.
The assistant then bows very low and says that he’s sorry.
Upon saying buy I apologise to the sales assistant and say that my uncle is new here (And that’s why he’s so brash)
He winks at me and says it’s okay.
We head down the escalators and Uncle Jay keeps telling me “Advena! You fit in so well here. SO WELL.”
He never tells me why.
At the bottom of the escalators there’s a boy, who looks about 12 or 13, bent over because he’s dropped all of his keyrings and they’ve wedged themselves between the escalator steps and the ground floor.
It’s a bit inconvenient because he’s getting in the way so everyone has to quickly avoid hitting him. Except Uncle Jay.
Uncle Jay forcefully picks him up by the shoulders and moves him out of the way. The boy looks up at me and gives me the most cold, evil look I have ever seen. Seriously I’m sure he just wanted to beam a hold right through my face.
His father then shouts something at Uncle Jay that I didn’t quite catch, but he sounded pissed.
But of course Uncle Jay towers high above all of us so doesn’t hear a thing and carries on past the AU section, picking up tissues that they hand out.
He picks up a tissue packet from the assistant and walks on. Another sales assistant hands a packet out in his general direction, not expecting him to pick it up.
Uncle Jay then shows his packet and says “I’VE ALREADY GOT ONE” and puts his hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him scared and violated.
“Er…Uncle Jay? You’re really not meant to-”
“WOW DO YOU SEE THAT BUILDING?”
“Um…”
I follow Uncle Jay outside as he says to me once more, “Advena!…You fit in SO WELL HERE”
To this day, he’s never told me why.
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Ow.
Uncle Jay certainly is er, forceful.
I’m sure that it was nice to see family, but the social interactions definitely sound uncomfortable.
It was great that he treated you to a special meat, though.
yes, it’s nice also to know you have someone of your family around just in case… but it seems he has to learn about japanese ways.
er, special mea-L
I sure do love me some good meat! haha!
It’s okay I got what you meant
So funny!
I did something similar too at the beginning..
He will for sure fit in well like you in few time =)
As a man of means, I’m sure Uncle Jay will either have a car or take a taxi everywhere, but… just in case he ever ends up on the subway, let’s hope he’ll understand before then that it’s not okay to touch random people, especially women. O_O
Dont worry - already briefed him all abotu Chikan!
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